Outer experience matching inner truth

I’ve just received an astrological update from a guy who lives and works in Australia. I’ve been reading his full moon and new moon updates for a couple of years now and find them very insightful. They are not astrological charts in the sense of having a ‘birth chart’ done but rather they are discussions of the general circumstances in which we all find ourselves at the moment.

I admit to not being very astrologically savvy. At best I can say that I understand some of the underlying principles. However, I do appreciate some astrological guidance in the form of his weather reports. Several of my friends also read these letters and I’m always amused by the fact that we get different things from them. I guess we hear what we need to. Isn’t that so with life in general?

This month’s letter was informative for my personal process which I won’t go into here but I will note one thought that has stayed with me. I believe we have come to a time when we have the opportunity to make our outer experience match our inner truth. Let me explain what I mean by this.

I’ll begin by going back more than twenty-five years to an example from my own experience. I started my career in the business world although at the time I was a bit surprised. I wasn’t a kid who grew up knowing that I wanted to be a business woman. In fact my dreams were never about any ordinary profession on the check-list of what to be when you grow up. However, from the time I was old enough to know what the paranormal was, I wanted to have something to do with it. I didn’t know how but that was what interested me.

Through a set of seeming co-incidences I ended up in business school and then working in the hotel industry. The only thing about it that made sense was that I was in the Human Resources department and so was essentially dealing with psychology. About two years before I left the business world, I enrolled in a six-month course designed to help me explore my psychic abilities. It opened a door that I went through and never looked back. I was still in the business world but I never said a word about what I was exploring. I believed I had to split myself in two because it was not acceptable to reveal that side of myself in my work environment and maintain any sort of professional credibility.

I stayed in that split state, living a conventional life during business hours and an esoteric life in my private life, for about three years. When I changed careers and studied psychotherapy, I took the opportunity to step out and acknowledge what I was doing and learning psychically. Although it felt like a huge risk at the time, it was an enormous relief not to have to hide parts of myself and I noticed that openly incorporating my intuition into my work made me better able to help my clients.

Since then the ‘long-bony-finger-of-the-Universe’ has continually challenged me to deepen the synthesis between my inner and outer world. I don’t think I was incorrect in my assessment of what would be acceptable in the business world all those years ago; I just think that what I had deemed unacceptable in the 80s and 90s has been changing over the last few years. Not only is it changing but I believe that using our intuition is going to become a survival tool.

It’s becoming ever clearer to me that we are not here on this planet to play it safe. That doesn’t enliven us or help us grow. I’ve noticed something interesting; whenever I learn something in my personal life, I am almost instantly called upon to turn around and teach it to whoever is standing close behind me on the ladder of life – lest I be deluded or insecure enough to believe I am all alone in my experience! It’s like passing a bucket in an old-fashioned fire line, from the lake to the burning building. So let’s assume that one or other of you might be behind me in the line… here’s the bucket I’m passing along.

I am learning that I am being called to be the most ‘me’ I can possibly be. I am not here to be just like everyone else. I am not here to conform, or look pretty, or be reasonable, or make more money, or be famous. I’m here to be uniquely me and by doing so, to encourage others to do the same. When we don’t embrace all of who we know we are, there is a very real and persistent angst gnawing away inside us. I believe the angst comes as a result of the dissonance we feel when we try to keep some essential part of ourselves under cover, or under the radar. I’m coming to the conclusion that it just takes too much energy to pretend we are not something that we are. Compare that expenditure of energy to what is released when we let our ‘me-ness‘ out into the light of day and revel in it.

To be sure, it is at first a bit scary, but I am recognizing that I need my outer experience to match my inner truth. It’s a journey that I take every day, one step at a time. I’m gradually finding out what my inner truth is. It’s a process. It reveals itself a little more each time I think I’ve figured it out. It’s not a destination; it’s a journey. I can always tell there’s another level to explore by what it feels like inside me. If I am denying some aspect of my inner truth, I feel uncomfortable. You could even say it’s an adventure in getting to know myself and then introducing that better integrated self to the world.

I leave you with these questions:

  • In what way are you being invited to match your outer experience with your inner truth?
  • What aspect of who you are do you suppose is calling to you?
  • Where is the edge over which you are frightened to step but which is strangely compelling?
  • How might embracing it enliven you and broaden your horizons?

You don’t have to leap right away! Awareness is always the first step so invite your ‘opportunity’ out for coffee and get to know it a little better.

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